❝ HELLO KEN, TOMORROW MARKS YOUR LAST DAY OF MAINTENANCE CHEMO…
So I’ll be clear? I’ll be in Remission? This is my third remission now, but also my longest. Will I be clear after this?
IT LOOKS LIKE IT, BUT I WON’T SAY JUST YET. YOU’LL HAVE A FULL-BODY PET/CT SCAN WITH CONTRAST IN TWO WEEKS. IF IT’S CLEAR, THEN WE’LL DECLARE YOU CLEARED.
So what is my long-term prognosis? Am I now cancer-free? Will I never need to worry about cancer again?
THERE’S THE RUB… NO, WE DON’T KNOW… you had Stage 4 Mantle Cell Lymphoma. It’s nearly undetectable until it’s Stage 4 (Metastasized), almost all Lymphomas are. You’re clear now, but you’ll likely be immunocompromised with ups and downs for the rest of your life, and you’ll always have Lymphedema. We don’t know and will never know if you’ll get Lymphoma again, and won’t detect it until you do. You’re clear now, enjoy it. Do something. Celebrate.
I recommend you see a Hematologist and Immunologist for the immunocompromised health, and that you see undergo Outpatient physical therapy at a Lymphedema Clinic for your leg.
See you again in two weeks. ❞
AFTERWORD:
It was an odd and heartfelt conversation with Kaiser this morning. I feel like a massive weight has been taken off my chest, but still kinda angry that I can’t go out and enjoy dinner at a restaurant or sit in a movie theatre to enjoy the big screen.
I have my health and my life, but I’m going to need to be much more careful and mindful than most people blithely going through their lives without concern for the health of others.
Both my wife and the doctor could feel I was both happy and hurt by today’s news. I really want to eat out again, to watch movies again, to interact with people again. I have my health and my life, and I’m thankful, but I still need to be much more careful.
REMINDED THAT SUCH THOUGHTS ARE PETTY & SELFISH:
I understand, and I know I’m selfish to think such things like I WANT, I WANT when so many other cancer patients lose their battles. I lost two good friends in these last two years. Both lost their battles to cancer, and yet I’m still here. I wasn’t able to attend either of their funerals, but I was given a second chance.
I need to be grateful for this second chance and to make the most of it. I need to enjoy what I can, remember all that I’ve been through, and be overwhelmingly thankful for the support of family & friends these past few years.
But I still miss a good steak, a good burger, a good pint of beer, and a movie up on the big screen in a darkened theatre.
I’m going to need to find solace in these same things, but at home, together with family, grateful that I’m still here and still alive.