This week was overwhelming. It began with a bone biopsy and many more blood tests, followed by near-daily visits to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore for a battery of tests, classes, and paperwork. Yesterday we met with our Hopkins oncologist again, to sign the consent forms for the study, blood products, and to acknowledge the myriad risks throughout a bone marrow transplant and its recovery.
While chemotherapy and radiation therapy make sense to me as two protocols intended to kill fast-growing cancer cells at a faster rate than slower-growing normal cells, much of bone marrow transplants still reminds me of trepanning in how it’s performed, how it works, and all of the side effects and risks a patient need be concerned about. As the oncologist explained the process, risks, recovery, and possible life-long side-effects, I’m reminded of the analogy of “trying to swat a fly with a Buick.” Except maybe this is a swarm of flies, and the flies will most certainly kill you.
Being away from home, from family, and friends, is as heart-wrenching and overwhelming as any other part of this process. I truly hope that I’m able to keep my mental acuity and strength through all of this, and to push myself for a quicker recovery and return home. Having gone through the last 16 months of chemo, with some of it being very strong and having dramatic side-effects, I think I have a reasonable idea of what to expect when the oncologist and team explained all of the drugs, risks, and side-effects. I hope I’m able to look back on this in a month and find it true.
I don’t know what I can say. This week had a lot to take it, and the visuals as I toured the oncology floor and patient rooms didn’t dissuade me or put my mind at ease.