Immersive Language Learning would certainly be the fastest and best way to learn a new language and culture.
As much as I want to enroll in Immersive Language Learning to fully learn spoken and written Japanese from native Japanese speakers using daily lessons, conversations, writing, and reading, it’s $600 USD after 60% off.
If it were Amazon Web Services (AWS) or Google Compute Platform (GCP), my employer would readily agree and approve it. Given that I’d like to achieve Japanese fluency just for my own interesting, I’d likely have to do this out-of-pocket.
I’ve always been spiritual, and arguably, faithful.
Raised as Hungarian Reformed Protestant, Lutheran (ELCA), and later converted to Catholicism, I’ve been exposed to Christianity throughout my life.
I have never been Evangelical or Charismatic. I’d make for an extremely poor and unenthusiastic Missionary.
Over the decades, I’ve attended Jewish services in Synagogues, Sunday Services with Devout Pentecostals, Sundays with the Southern Baptist Conference, drum circles with modern pagans, and weekends with “Charismatic Catholics”.
While I appreciate the devotion of others, I honestly believe that it is our actions that define us as a Christians. Try as I might, I have severe difficulty understanding when some call themselves “Christian” and yet hate half our nation because they’re Democrat, or they’re Republican, or they’re immigrants, or they’re homeless, or they’re… whatever… “they’re not you.”
I paid attention during Matthew 25:34-37 where Jesus spoke about the poor, the homeless, the imprisoned, the sick. I must wonder if many of my fellow Christians conveniently forgot that part. For all our Nativity scenes, we forget that Christ himself was a refugee, an immigrant, and without a home at his birth.
My faith keeps me and sustains me through my life. I lost family and friends. I served in the military. I had a decent career between corporations and government contracting. I survived cancer, chemo, radiation, and being immunocompromised. I don’t shout it from the rooftops, but I quietly carry it in my heart as I hope to serve others by word and deed rather than charismatic and performative evangelism.
And so it goes. As I wait for the latest word and chapter in my life, I have faith. It sustains me. It is a quiet candle burning in my heart and shared together with my family.
After a week-long stay at the hospital with a few days of septic delirium, a week of IV antibiotics, and a month of Cipro, this is a loud-and-pronounced call that I need to focus on my health and getting control over my leg lymphedema as best I can.
Despite my best efforts for walking 60-90mi each month with the pups, doing frequent showers and moisturizing, I still seem to be getting cellulitis and sepsis several times each year. My last echocardiogram shows that it’s taking a toll on my heart health as I repeatedly get pumped full of IV fluids and antibiotics.
So, my goal now is to be thorough and persistent with my physical therapy at Kaiser and Virginia Hospital Center, to do more frequent/longer walks and cycling, and to hopefully get my leg into a healthier long-term state.
Or, at the very least, to be able to enjoy long walks, hikes, and cycling again?
Today was an exhaustive visit, but one of the best visits I’ve had with Kaiser about my short-term health, long-term health, and long-term treatment:
Yes, I do have a slightly enlarged heart and decreased ejection fraction, but it’s due to pseudomonas and sepsis as a blood infection. Seeing increased heart size and changes to ejection fraction are common. They’re scheduling me for a transesophageal echocardiogram in 2-3 weeks to verify my recovery once the Cipro is over. They’ll also schedule me for a full panel of bloodwork to verify my bloodwork, recovery, and level of immunity/immunocompromised.
Yes, I do have Stage 3 Lymphedema of my left leg. It’s pronounced. They want to photograph it monthly, document it, and do more aggressive physical therapy to see if we can’t see some recovery, improvement in mobility, decreased neuropathy. I’m being referred to Virginia Hospital Center (VHC) for my lymphedema care.
They’re documenting that I have a severe reaction to a flea bite, not uncommon for my lymphoma, lymphedema, decreased immune response. Pseudomonas itself was likely acquired during frequent clinical visits. MRSA and Pseudomonas are concerns given my health and history.
They recommended a Bifenthrin Insecticide fogger for front yard and back to reduce mosquitoes and insects, fog yard every 2-3 weeks. Safe for both me and our dogs. They recommended spraying my pants and shirts with Permethrin and/or DEET, to wear long pants and shirts for all walks outdoor exposure due to severe reaction to flea bite.
❝ You were dealing with pain, but people didn’t realize it.
So many of us have to deal with it. When you’re in pain, you’re just looking to feel good. It changes your relationship with food, and drink, and your life. So then when they fix the pain, you’re left with other complex areas of your life that you need to deal with and realign relationships with.
When I say I’m getting better, I’m getting better in a multitude of ways, which is great… but you have to keep trying. ❞
— Carson Daly, Today (NBC, Tues 18-Oct-2022) re: Life after Spinal Surgery and Recovery
Carson Daly had a great segment on the Today show (NBC) this morning.
I really appreciate his answers and his directness. He did address that many people are in pain, particularly after surgery, illness, or the ravages of age. Many of us are trying to deal with pain, but we’re not always aware of the pain of others.
I especially appreciate how he said that pain changes the nature of our relationships with food, drink, exercise, and our lifestyles. As we recover from the immediate issues and the pain, we need to recognize and realign how our lives have changed.
1) Congratulations! You remain in remission from Mantle Cell Lymphoma.
There is no evidence of recurrent hypermetabolic or structural evidence of high grade lymphoma. Specifically, no abnormal uptake in normal-sized lymph nodes, pathologic lymphadenopathy by size criteria, hypermetabolic focal splenic lesions, splenic uptake above background or suspicious FDG avid osseous lesions.
2) Congratulations, you have splenomegaly!
Current splenic measurements are 16 x 8.5 cm in craniocaudal by transverse dimensions, similar to prior.
3) Congratulations, you have a kidney stone in your left kidney!
Possible layering calyceal stones in the left greater than right kidneys. No hydronephrosis.
4) Congratulations, you have age-appropriate degenerative changes in the spine.
It’s become “en vogue” to crap on people of faith, particularly Christianity. I completely understand why people do, and it’s not as if Christianity has an immaculate history or social standing to preach from.
What puzzles me is people’s hypocrisy, since they’ll respect Islam, Wicca, Paganism, Buddhism, Taoism, other religions, and ideologies but reserve their bile and ire for Catholicism or Christianity. I don’t see their logic or beliefs as any more superior or worthy of respect when they’re foaming at the mouth about one faith while adhering to another. They appear as hypocritical and irrational as the people they mock.
But what do I know?
These last few years have truly been a trial. My own flesh-and-blood family by birth was there for none of it. Neither my mother nor my brothers visited, sent anything, said anything, or donated bone marrow for my health and my survival. It was the generous gift of an anonymous donor that I am alive today. It was the care, love, and compassion of Vicky’s family and our mutual friends that saw me through.
And it was faith. My faithful friends will nod and agree. My cynical, atheistic, or “logical/rational” friends will shake their heads and credit everything from medical science alone to chance and happenstance.
But there were just too many odd and miraculous things these past few years. From the generous support of my co-workers going above and beyond to make it possible for me to spend nearly a year in several hospital (Virginia Hospital Center, Johns Hopkins, Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) to Vicky’s family supporting us when we needed to travel for my stem cell therapy to several “odd” (miraculous) things happening when both the National Institutes of Health (NIH) told me I had months to live and that I should put my affairs in order.
And again, lightning out of the blue?
Something happened again yesterday. I’m not going to say what or why. It’s not for anyone to know other than Vicky and I. Should cancer (or anything else) eventually claim me, perhaps it can be talked about over my funeral or as an odd aside after the fact?
Something which had no right happening and was completely unexpected happened just the same. Just a little reminder of all that we’ve been through together as a little family (Vicky and I) and that perhaps there is something greater than ourselves seeing to our survival?
I am still here even when others told me that I would not.
My bone marrow transplant may or may not have been ideal. Over three years of chemo and radiation may have taken its toll on my health and my bone marrow graft, but despite my immunocompromised health, I am able to live, to survive, to enjoy time together with my family, and to be thankful for all that we have together and all that we’ve been blessed with.
And I continue to see unexpected blessings, things that cannot or should not be, but nevertheless are. Some may believe me, some may think I’m irrational or delusional, but it won’t stop me from being thankful, from being grateful, and for having faith.
Together in Faith and Endurance as a patient at Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD)
Christ at Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD)
Christ at Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD)
Together in Faith and Endurance
Celebrating Mass, Giving Thanks, Praying for Strength to Endure…
Celebrating Mass as a Patient at Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD)
Celebrating Mass as a patient at Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD)
Celebrating Mass as a patient at Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD)
Celebrating Mass as a patient at Johns Hopkins (Baltimore, MD)
❝ Hey you! I hadn’t seen a health update in a while, and I really wanted to know how you were doing. ❞
It’s been a while since I last posted an update about my health or my ongoing adventures with cancer, remission, and lymphedema. Between our societal exhaustion of the pandemic and my own personal fatigue of dealing with the after-effects of cancer, chemo, lymphoma, and lymphedema, blogging about my health wasn’t as high a priority for me.
I was surprised and very thankful to hear from a beloved and old friend yesterday. It was really nice catching up with her, and she asked about my latest health. She reminded me it’s been a while since my last update, so it prompted me to post this update. Rather than retype much of what I told her, I thought I’d copy much of my summary here.
I really can’t understate how surprised and thankful I was to hear from her. She’s someone whose opinions, observations, and life experiences I greatly respect and admire. It’s fascinating how our lives have paralleled each other.
• • •
While being told “you have cancer, it’s Stage 4, we need you to go to the hospital for IV infusion” is pretty dramatic and a singular event, recovery isn’t so dramatic or so singular.
I’m on my third remission, it’s the longest so far, but the effects of 3 years of chemo and an imperfect bone marrow transplant continue to linger. The lymphedema of my left leg is such that at any given time, my left leg is 2-3x the size and weight of my right leg. It means I get cellulitis far more often (2-3x each year), and I get hospitalized each time for sepsis accompanying the cellulitis.
In these past few weeks as I try to walk more, hike more, and get out more, it means I walk funny as I try to put more weight, stress, and maneuverability on my right leg. It also means that twisted my leg and loosened my ligaments in my right knee. I had two x-rays of my knee, thankful it doesn’t need surgery, but means I need to wear a soft brace while I try to exercise more to strengthen the muscles in my legs.
I ought to write it all down and post it, but it’s tedious and ongoing (feels never-ending sometimes).
I wish I could have gone to Defcon 30. I had several friends who went, told me about the exciting time they had, and sent pictures. I still would like to go to Burning Man sometime. I figure I’ll have an easier time at Burning Man than at Defcon since it’s easier to maintain personal space and take various hygiene precautions/wear.
Still somewhat immunocompromised, so I work from home full-time, I try to limit my socialization, and it’s pretty funny (not really) how quickly sick I get from time spent around others who think they aren’t sick, or “it’s just the sniffles, nothing really, I’m not contagious” and then I end up in the hospital for a couple of days for IV antibiotics (which is a true story, exactly what happened after attending the wake and funeral of Vicky’s Dad)
Humor, sometimes dark humor, certainly helps with coping. Especially around others, who either have misconceptions about what cancer is, what cancer is like, or how they see it/handle it in others.
People don’t alarm me any more with their reactions. I don’t answer the trolls anymore, but will answer those genuinely curious or dealing with similar issues. My first few outings to the movies or to the restaurant were frustrating or exhausting.
And yeah… the pandemic has been something else, especially with how some people deal with it… or don’t. Since it’ll definitely knock me down, out, or kill me, I avoid others who I suspect have covid.
Lymphedema (secondary to Lymphoma) in one leg, bad knee in the other.
Long ago and far away (during my senior year of high school), I was climbing a 20-foot ladder to retrieve a pallet of paint from three-story warehouse. While I was carrying gallons of paint down the ladder, I got my foot caught in a rung and twisted my right knee. Despite fighting the claim, my employee recognized their fault and my injury, and I had my leg braced for part of the summer. I didn’t tear but I did loosen the post cruciate ligament (PCL) of my right knee.
A couple years later, I seriously wondered if my right knee was going to keep me from passing Basic Military Training (BMT) at Lackland AFB in 1992. Thankfully, the requirements for “running” a mile was a 12min/mile. At 12 minutes, you could effectively JOG a mile and not have to RUN it. So I did. At just over 10 minutes, I took my mile at a very comfortable pace and still passed BMT. My right knee was in considerable pain that week between daily exercises, hikes around Lackland in full battle dress uniforms (BDUs), and trying to haul my sorry ass a mile in under 12 minutes.
Fast forward 30 years, I have lymphedema in my left leg (secondary to Mantle Cell Lymphoma) and now I’m having sharp “grinding pains” in my right knee. I’ve been woken up multiple times in sharp pain as it feels like bone-on-bone grinding in my right knee. I’ll need to get my leg x-rayed next week.
Video Visit with Dr. Yoho (Kaiser-Permanente, Tysons, VA)
Dr. Yoho emphasizing that I need to exercise my lymphatic leg more, that I need to elevate it more, and that I really need to wear compression stocking as much as possible.
I’ve been neglecting and tolerating my swollen leg, especially with the high heat of mid-summer and the pain of taking long walks.
I ought to get more compression stockings, clean my leg and check for any cuts or changes, wear compression stockings and exercise it every day, and wash the compression stockings (wear clean stocking) each day.
I spent the last two days at Virginia Hospital Center after being admitted with a fever of 104℉ with chills, runny nose, and coughing.
With a temperature of 104℉, the doctors thought I had a viral infection rather than a bacterial infection. I was told that viral infections result in higher body temperatures.
They swabbed me twice for COVID, doing a PCR test each time, both were negative. They swabbed me for a panel of viruses, and it came back positive for HPIV.
Victoria and I never heard of Human Parainfluenza Viruses (HPIVs), but they’re common in children. Since I’m post-BMT and effectively have the immune system of a juvenile, I’m prone to childhood diseases.
I was able to go home yesterday afternoon, but I’m told to monitor it, be careful, and follow up with multiple tests for my WBC, ANC, and Platelets.
After a busy couple of months between work, health, and personal events/hobbies, I’m finally able to dedicate my time and focus on studying/prepping for my FCC license. I’m reading and practicing from the ARRL study prep guides and enrolled in HamRadioPrep for the video courses and practice exams.
I’d love to tell you and show you my efforts in HAM radio soon… I’m also hoping to show my new FCC Vanity Callsign once I pass the test!
Here’s what I’m working on and practicing with:
SW Radios and Field Travel BagBTech DMR-6X2Yaesu VX-8DRBtech DMR-6X2, Yaesu VX-8DReton shortwave radio, Btech DMR-6X2, Yaesu VX-8DRSoftware Defined Radio (SDR) and HackRF One with Portapack H2+Software Defined Radio (SDR) and HackRF One with Portapack H2+Software Defined Radio (SDR) and HackRF One with Portapack H2+Software Defined Radio (SDR) and HackRF One with Portapack H2+One of my Field Radio BagsOne of my Field Radio Bags
I think my cognition and mental acuity has improved since peak chemo and radiation, but I still find massive disconnects between my interior dialog and what I type on the screen.
In my head, I think fully formed and discrete sentences. As someone who scored nearly an 800 (perfect score) on the SAT Verbal, I prided myself on my spelling, grammar, and syntax.
Since nearly 4 years of Chemo on an equal number of chemo protocols and radiation therapy, I find that what I think is not always what I speak or what I type.
I’ve been trying to build buffers and safeguards into both my email and my web browsing. I use Grammarly and Microsoft Editor heavily, but sometimes I overlook or ignore the errors when it warns me “what you typed doesn’t make sense.”
I really need to slow down, type, read what I typed, take a deep breath, pause, and READ. IT. AGAIN.
Nurse preparing patient for CT scan test in hospital room
PET/CT with CONTRAST, taken 1/6/2021
IMPRESSION:
1. No evidence of FDG avid adenopathy.
2. Decreased focal FDG uptake at the junction of the descending and sigmoid colons when compared to prior. Of note colonoscopy results from 10/23/2020 demonstrated fragments of granulation tissue with ulcer, positive for CMV.
3. Improving right lower lobe pneumonia.
4. Splenomegaly.
PET/CT with CONTRAST, taken 3/4/2022
IMPRESSION:
1. No suspicious FDG avid lymphadenopathy. Unchanged splenomegaly with uptake below that of background liver. Deauville score of 1.
2. New focal radiotracer accumulation in the sigmoid colon with possible focal wall thickening. Finding is indeterminate in etiology, and consideration of colonoscopy should be obtained as clinically warranted. Of note, patient had a prior colonoscopy which demonstrated CMV colitis.
3. Increase of left lower extremity lymphedema.
FOLLOW-UP
1. Colonoscopy.
2. Physical Therapy for left lower extremity lymphedema.
So, this is our last weekend before Lent begins. Mardi Gras (“Fat Tuesday”) is this coming Tuesday, March 1st. Ash Wednesday is this coming Wednesday, March 2nd. This is our last weekend for Victoria to enjoy our “Farewell to the Feast.” 😆
For Lent, Victoria is devoting herself to mindful health and service to others. I’m focusing on mindful health and refocusing my time and energy.
With this Lent, I won’t be practicing complete abstinence from social media and the onslaught of news, but I certainly will be severely cutting it back. I’m planning on reading far more, gaming far more, practicing Intermittent Fasting (IF) where I only eat between 11 AM and 7 PM, and abstaining from chocolate and desserts.
By the end of Lent, I’m hoping to be happier and healthier, especially now that I’m resuming Physical Therapy for my lymphedema in addition to my Lenten practice of reading, gaming, and fasting.
Mini Trampolines are Good for the Lymphatic System
“Water Therapy” (walking in a pool with natural water pressure and resistance against lymphedema) and “Urban Rebounding”(mini-trampoline with stabilizer bar and exercise for lymphatic drainage) were the two biggest Physical Therapy exercises discussed today.
Diane Sharr, OT, and Anne Smith, OT, discussed my switching to bariatric and lymphedema clothing to accommodate my increase in lymphedema size. They also strongly recommended I switch laundry detergents to baby soap detergent to decrease harshness and hygienics of the clothing irritating my leg, will also decrease recurrence of cellulitis.
Today was a GREAT visit and discussion. Looking forward to improved physical therapy, monitoring, and care of my leg lymphedema.
Ken Foreman and Scott Anderson (Penn Station, Amtrak)
I routinely think about Scott Anderson, Carol Howell, Sean Sperry, and Benjamin Szoko. In these last four years, I’ve lost four dear friends. I wasn’t able to attend any of their funerals, fighting my own battle with lymphoma, lymphedema, and immunocompromised health myself.
People speak of “survivor’s guilt.” While Scott and I were still alive, as once cancer combatant to another, we both spoke about it. We both pressed on, but we know the heartache of losing loved ones and dear friends, wondering why we are here and they are not.
Scott was a decade older than me. Sean was four years older than me. Both were far too young to lose their battles to cancer. Carol was a surprise to us, and a heartbreak.
I have no answers. I certainly understand the anger, frustration, and loss. I get why people lash out against survivors or lash out against God for allowing some people to live and others to die. Morality and goodness don’t determine who is spared and who is claimed by cancer.
I hope to honor their memories as best I can. I hope to carry their memories and my loyalty
❝ HELLO KEN, TOMORROW MARKS YOUR LAST DAY OF MAINTENANCE CHEMO…
So I’ll be clear? I’ll be in Remission? This is my third remission now, but also my longest. Will I be clear after this?
IT LOOKS LIKE IT, BUT I WON’T SAY JUST YET. YOU’LL HAVE A FULL-BODY PET/CT SCAN WITH CONTRAST IN TWO WEEKS. IF IT’S CLEAR, THEN WE’LL DECLARE YOU CLEARED.
So what is my long-term prognosis? Am I now cancer-free? Will I never need to worry about cancer again?
THERE’S THE RUB… NO, WE DON’T KNOW… you had Stage 4 Mantle Cell Lymphoma. It’s nearly undetectable until it’s Stage 4 (Metastasized), almost all Lymphomas are. You’re clear now, but you’ll likely be immunocompromised with ups and downs for the rest of your life, and you’ll always have Lymphedema. We don’t know and will never know if you’ll get Lymphoma again, and won’t detect it until you do. You’re clear now, enjoy it. Do something. Celebrate.
I recommend you see a Hematologist and Immunologist for the immunocompromised health, and that you see undergo Outpatient physical therapy at a Lymphedema Clinic for your leg.
See you again in two weeks. ❞
Ken Foreman at Johns Hopkins
AFTERWORD:
It was an odd and heartfelt conversation with Kaiser this morning. I feel like a massive weight has been taken off my chest, but still kinda angry that I can’t go out and enjoy dinner at a restaurant or sit in a movie theatre to enjoy the big screen.
I have my health and my life, but I’m going to need to be much more careful and mindful than most people blithely going through their lives without concern for the health of others.
Both my wife and the doctor could feel I was both happy and hurt by today’s news. I really want to eat out again, to watch movies again, to interact with people again. I have my health and my life, and I’m thankful, but I still need to be much more careful.
REMINDED THAT SUCH THOUGHTS ARE PETTY & SELFISH:
I understand, and I know I’m selfish to think such things like I WANT, I WANT when so many other cancer patients lose their battles. I lost two good friends in these last two years. Both lost their battles to cancer, and yet I’m still here. I wasn’t able to attend either of their funerals, but I was given a second chance.
I need to be grateful for this second chance and to make the most of it. I need to enjoy what I can, remember all that I’ve been through, and be overwhelmingly thankful for the support of family & friends these past few years.
But I still miss a good steak, a good burger, a good pint of beer, and a movie up on the big screen in a darkened theatre.
I’m going to need to find solace in these same things, but at home, together with family, grateful that I’m still here and still alive.
Ambulance ride, hospitalization, and ICU from December 28th, 2021 until January 3rd, 2022. Admitted for cellulitis of left leg, septic shock (pseudomonas aeruginosa bacterial infection), high heart rate and low blood pressure, sinus-tachycardia.
1) Be thankful every day for good health and being at home surrounded by loved ones rather than hospitalized surrounded by medical.
As much as I truly would like to play console games all week (between Christmas and New Year’s) and read novels on the Kindle, I really do need to set deadlines for myself to get my FCC Technician license, General license, and begin my CISSP.
I’m taking classes, studying, and doing practice exams to test my knowledge cold. I want to score 90% (or better) with each practice exam (cold) before scheduling my proctored exams.
Ken Foreman (prepping and studying)
Ken Foreman (prepping and studying)
Ken Foreman (prepping and studying)
HAM Radio Gear and Pending “Radio Shack”
While I’ve been into radio scanning using Uniden Bearcat, Tandy/Radio Shack, and Yaesu receivers and transceivers since I was a teenager, I’m now using a Yaesu VX-8DR as my handheld transceiver, a Malahit 1.10c SDR (Software Defined Radio) at 50MHz through 2.0GHz, and getting a new HackRF One with Portapack H2 at 50MHz through 6.0GHz.
I already have my Federal Registry Number (FRN) but haven’t yet scheduled my proctored exam for my FCC Technician or General licenses yet. Right now, taking an FCC practice exam “cold” (no studying or prep) gets me 60-70%. I want to consistently score 90% or better on any practice exam (taken “cold”) before I schedule my exam with a certified radio operator. I’m hoping to take my FCC Technician exam by early/mid January, and to get my FCC Callsign by late January once I’m entered in the ULS.
I already have a few ideas for my FCC Vanity Callsign. I’ll make it public once I’ve passed my exam and I have my ULS pending or complete.
