Tag Archives: Remembrance

Brain Droppings, Slice-of-Life

The Persistence of Memory (Loved Ones Lost)

Margaret and Benjamin Balogh (my grandparents)


VICKY: Ken, did you know you typed ‘Kiyomi and Toshiro’ on your text messages to me several times today?

KEN: No. I didn’t. Really? Maybe.

[ Ken checks text message history. ]

KEN: No kidding. I guess I was thinking of her repeatedly today even when playing with Sachiko at lunch.

VICKY: Yeah, I figured. I didn’t want to say anything.

KEN: I guess I shouldn’t feel so bad. I don’t remember when my grandmother passed. I think it was the mid-1970s, but my memory is hazy. My grandfather and I were close. I knew the password for his computer and several of his financial accounts. Do you know what his password was in 1987?

VICKY: No, what?

KEN: “margeben“, short for Marge & Ben. My grandmother was Marge, short for Margaret. More than 15 years later, he still used her name as a password for his computer and his security.

VICKY: I can see that. We never truly forget the ones we love. Their names and memories live on.

Family, Slice-of-Life

I Totally Forgot! (“Death Anniversaries”)

I TOTALLY FORGOT (“DEATH ANNIVERSARIES”)

Lit Candles in Remembrance of Another

I’m not accustomed to the concept of “Death Anniversaries.” It wasn’t something my family did as I was growing up.

I’m aware of other Lutherans and Hungarians honoring “Death Anniversaries”, but I never saw my Mom or Dad light a candle or say a prayer on the anniversary of a loved one.

Marrying into a Catholic Filipino family, it’s very common for us to pray for the soul of another. We attend wakes and funerals (or we did in the “before times”; pre-pandemic and pre-cancer), and we attend “death anniversaries.”

So as Vicky remembers her family today… I’m reminded that I completely forgot that February 8th was the passing of my grandfather.
I know I fall short of his ideals. It’s hard to do the right thing and to remain steady with a strong moral compass. Social media isn’t exactly kind to ethical systems, and we live in a society that places self before others. I also know these are excuses, as he would tell me and remind me, and that we are all ultimately responsible for our own actions and our own consequences.

You are loved and you are remembered.

May I see you again someday.

Family

32 Years Ago Now

(Polaroid) Ken on Benjamin Balogh’s lap as he plays Tic-Tac-Toe on an MITS Altair 8800 terminal

BENJAMIN BALOGH, JR

Born February 5th, 1922
Died February 9th, 1989, at age 67.
 
It’s Tuesday, February 9th, 2021.
 
It’s been 32 years now.
 
I’m 48 years old now, married for over 20 years to a wonderful wife, father to two beautiful Shetland Sheepdogs. I think you would have liked meeting Victoria. I have little doubt she’d have thought as highly of you as I do.
 
It’s been a wild and rough ride. I don’t know where to begin. These last three years in particular have been a swift kick in the arse. I’m still here. I’m still standing.
 
You are missed. With each passing year, my memories get fuzzier and grayer. The sharp details get sanded down and blurred. The warmth remains. Your courage, conviction, compassion, ethics, and intelligence endure.
 
Your grandson,
 
Kenneth Balogh Foreman
Family, Home/Life

In Memory of Benjamin Balogh, Jr.

1 Comment
In Memory of Benjamin Balogh, Jr.

In Memory of Benjamin Balogh, Jr.

It’s been 31 years since February 9th, 1989. Benjamin Balogh, Jr, was known to me as “Pop-Pop”. I learned so much from him over the years (1972 to 1989).

I truly wish I had more time to get to know my grandfather, but in the 16 years I did know him, he taught me so much. At 47 years old, I continue to uphold his memory, his teaching, and I try to uphold his ethics & values. I know that I sometimes fall flat at each. There are still so many conversations I wish we had.

Pop-Pop: you are well-loved and well-remembered by all of us who are still here. May you think kindly of us and pray for us in Heaven.

 

Ken & Pop-Pop on the Altair 8008 Terminal
Ken and his Grandfather (“Pop-Pop”)